The Raboff Randomizer

The Raboff Randomizer

Feels like it’s a good time for a new round of random thoughts and factoids from the above Raboff Randomizer.

• Few people seem to know (or, are willing to acknowledge) the fact that Sweden has an abundance of trees and milling facilities that can transform almost any kind of tree into any imaginable kind of paper product – including toilet paper. So people, stop hoarding it!

• Popcorn, at least when made the old school way, is a reasonably healthy indulgence that nothing should ever keep you from enjoying. If you’re a micro pop fan, read the ingredients and then stop nuking your corn, dude.

• With over 100.000 lakes, water will never become a scarcity in Sweden or Finland or Norway. Neither will vodka.

• The real reason Danes closed their country’s borders? So they could smoke and drink without feeling guilty or frowned upon by goodie-two-shoes tourists from Sweden.

• I’ve met and shaken paws with the Swedish Prime Minster twice without washing afterward. But his shake was about as coarse and dry as Ingvar Kamprad’s thick, leathery hands were.

• If you don’t have peanut butter, banana and cinnamon as three main accessories in your porridge, you’re absolutely missing the whole point of the dish. And since growing oats is extremely common in Swedish agriculture, you don’t need to hoard that either.

• Any single malt whiskey will always lose against Four Roses bourbon (small batch) and, according to my friend Michael, this applies to a staple straight bourbon like Maker´s Mark.

• The true brilliance of the Star Wars series is that it takes place in the past. Not in some absurdly overrated future.

• Mike Pence could definitely have been cast as an East German villain in a Die Hard or Lethal Weapon, Gung-ho movie, circa 1984.