Posts

November 7, 2021
Elle Twenty-One
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Our daughter Elle turns 21 today. That’s hard to grasp. Time surely flies when you’re a parent. Twenty years ago today, Charlotte, Elle, and I were living on Karon Beach in Phuket, Thailand where we stayed for almost 10 months.

Elle had already been walking for a while and so the three of us strolled slowly down to a local Thai restaurant where we celebrated her very first birthday. I’m pretty sure some luscious cake or creamy ice cream was served after our dinner.

Traditionally, we celebrate Elle’s birthday together, like last year when we ate covid-era dinner at Kitchen & Table in Malmö. Among the more faraway places we’ve celebrated her birthdays are Marrakech, New York, and L.A.

Sadly, this year, we are many, many miles apart. Hope we get together soon, though. So we can smother our amazing daughter with belated birthday hugs and tell Elle in person that we continue to be proud of and inspired by her.

August 4, 2020
Employee of the Month
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I’m fairly sure that about this time 2o years ago, about three months before our child was born, Charlotte and I began discussing names. That he or she would have at least two names, possibly three, was something we agreed early upon. If it was a girl, we would honor our respective grandmothers by giving our baby girl a name from each of them. The same would have happened if it was a boy with our grandfathers’ first names.

I don’t remember how I came up with the name “Elle” but I know Charlotte liked it. It’s short and therefore easy to remember, it works internationally (though many Asians often pronounce L as R) and, it’s a palindrome. I don’t think Elle is a particularly difficult name, as the text in the above photo suggests we should have chosen, but it’s definitely a little unusual.

Our daughter Elle Ingrid Agnes Raboff will be 20 in a couple of months. She’s still figuring out what to do with her life. While a few of my friends knew what they wanted (or, at least felt obliged to fulfill their parents’ vision) at 20, I was still clueless.  Heck, at 57, I’m still pretty much clueless. Elle is focused on getting a higher education, which is obviously great. But for now, working at the supermarket, she’s getting a ton of valuable life/work experience all the while earning honest money.

The other day, Elle sent us a text message with the small, inserted photo above. At some point during that day’s shift, a boss had approached and asked Elle to come with her to the office. A little nervous that something was awry, it turned out that Elle, after only six months on the job, was going to be awarded “Employee of the Month”. We were both tremendously proud. The fact that the store has 300 employees means there must have been some competition.

I’m a firm believer that being proud or feeling pride is something you can only truly do when you’ve been actively involved in a positive outcome or result. Both Charlotte and I feel therefore immensely proud of Elle’s achievement. I don’t want to read too much into the award, but the motivation is certainly a testament to our daughter’s ability to do her job really well and her social intelligence.

June 3, 2019
Graduation Party Weather
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The weather gods are with us. At least insofar that they’ve promised warmth and mostly cloudless skies during Wednesday’s high school graduation party for Elle.

If everyone shows up, we’ll be a merry 75 folks celebrating our daughter’s last day of secondary education at Borgarskolan here in Malmö. It’ll be the biggest gathering of friends and family since Charlotte and I got married in Mölle by the Sea back in 1998, 21 years ago. One huge difference is that Elle will enjoy much better weather than we did back then. We’re catering most of the food – but I’ll be making a huge batch of guacamole, a large bowl of spicy salsa and some cummin and sesame flavored hummus.

Though the occasion is obviously meant to celebrate Elle’s achievement of graduating high school – and sorry if this comes across as being self-congratulatory – I also see it as something we as parents and her guides/advisors should be permitted to commemorate as well.

Don’t get me wrong here. Raising Elle has been mostly super-smooth sailing. Easier and certainly less dramatic than say, what I experienced and more relaxed/exciting than Charlotte’s upbringing. That said, I ascribe much of Elle’s positive attitude and social competence to us being reasonably good role models – both at home and during all our visits abroad. Not that there hasn’t been a few speed bumps or the occasional hurdle along the road. That kinda goes without saying. Like most parents, we fuck up from time to time. But both Charlotte and I have good reason to stand tall and be proud of both ourselves and our beautiful daughter during the celebrations.

The graduation party indubitably marks the end of an era in all our lives. Even if she’s been 18 for six months already, Elle is somehow more of an adult now. It’s time to let go. Yet as most mothers and fathers know, parenthood is a lifelong commitment (emotionally and, hopefully, to a lesser degree, financially). And even when we later on this year venture off in different directions geographically, we all know that our emotional bond to each other will continue to be close and resilient.

Shot the above view earlier this morning, about an hour after returning from the gym at Kockum Fritid (my first serious workout in about two weeks).