Bangkok. Buffet. Brawl.

There’s something about the idea of “free food” that instantly lobotomizes some people. You notice it most at hotels, perhaps, but also now and then when we visit an airport lounge.

The breakfast buffet at our hotel here in Bangkok is no exception. It’s as if human evolution suddenly shifts into reverse.

Why haven’t some people grasped the basic idea of a buffet? That when the food in the bowl, warming tray, or pot runs out, it gets replenished. And still people’s eyes go blank and glassy with desperation as if this for some reason, just to today, the refilling system has broken down.

This morning, Charlotte was my hero once again when she called out a pushy Danish dude.

The scene played out at the only coffee machine that was working at the time. And yet most people seemed to understand how the line worked.

Charlotte stood there patiently waiting for her caffeine fix when the Danish guy, flanked by his two sons, suddenly pushed his way forward like a sweaty bull.

The exchange that followed was pure poetry:

The guy: “Sorry, I was here before you.”

Charlotte: “No, you weren’t. You weren’t standing in line at all.”

The guy: “But I was here before you.”

Charlotte: “I guess you’ve never been to Japan.”

The guy: “Are we in Japan now?”

Charlotte: “No, but if you ever visit, you’ll learn how to stand in line and respect others.”

The guy: “But I was here before you were here.”

That was when the Dane’s two sons looked up at their father and asked what the argument was about.

One of them: “Hvad siger hun, far?”
(“What is she saying, Dad?”)

The guy explained to his sons that Charlotte had cut in front of them.

Charlotte, not surprisingly, calm but firm, said:

“I don’t think you should lie to your children…”

That did it.

The guy backed down and joined the line with his two slightly confused sons. By then, a couple of other coffee-deprived guests had joined behind Charlotte making the Danish dude’s wait a bit longer.